:for you sandra:

im sorry. even when we aren't together i still cause you pain. truth is, you think i am over you but really, im not. fact of the matter is, i cant get you outta my mind. i wont lie. i still have feelings for you. you really did have an impact in my life. our break up really hurt me deep inside and i guess the wound hasnt fully healed just yet.

this whole time we stayed as close friends and im glad we did, i didnt want to lose you in my life. thats why it really hurt to read your blog post.

dear sandra,

i still held feelings for you. i cant deny it. i wanted us to get back together but at the same time i didnt. i just couldnt do it. i didnt want to hurt you again. i noticed that you were happier with me as a close friend. i figured that if we got back together, i would just cause you more emotional pain like i did when we were a couple. i wanted you to be happy, to be able to genuinely smile. that smile of yours was what mattered. i wanted to put your happiness above my own. idk if you knew, but ive been keeping up to date with your blog. as i read your latest post, i felt pain inside. you said you were finally gonna shove me out of your heart. you said i didnt need you in my life and that you had no effect in my life. thats what you thought. sadly, youre mistake. i did need you, thats why i wanted so much for us to stay as friends. you affected my life greatly, thats why my feelings for you lingered. idk if you knew but no matter what the future has in store, you will always have a place in my heart. i guess thats why i just broke down in tears after having read that i was getting shoved out of yours, that i would no longer have a place in it. i wonder if i had told you sooner, we would be together again. probably not, i dont think you would want an idiot like me. no one knows what lies in the future, perhaps you and i will be back together, perhaps not. who knows? whatever the case may be, i can only hope that we can remain to stay as close as we are now. i may no longer have a place in your heart but know this, you'll always have a place in mine. im sure you never knew any of this. well, now you know. im sorry i couldnt salvage our relationship like how i wanted to. you may not think it but your impact in my life has helped shaped me into a better person. all i can hope for is that im not shut out from your heart forever.

much love <3
albert anthony viste lariba

no matter, if you need me. ill be here for you. that i promise you...