:ughhhhh:

you're so stubborn you know that. why can't you get it in your head that you never have to go through things alone. you're hurting and yet you never seem to remember that i exist. i told you countless times before, don't ever think that you have to deal with crap by yourself. i don't know how much help i would be but what i do know is that, i will try and help you feel better. you just cant seem to get that in your head. lets take yesterday for example, you know how sad i was when i knew something was wrong and yet you shook it off again pretending you were fine. i wanted to try and help, and yet you just left me hanging. ill be honest to you, it really pissed me off seeing that you are trying to take on the burdens and stress by yourself again but you know that i cant stay mad at you. so i just pretended nothing happened. that you were telling the truth when you told me you were alright. that's something that i don't like about you. the fact that, regardless how many times i remind you that i am here for you, you can't seem to see that. hey look. i may not be the best person to talk to and i may not always know the right words to say but at least i am here to listen to whatever you have to say and do my best to try to make you feel more at ease. i know i say this a lot and i don't know whether or not you realize this, i want you be happy. your happiness means so much to me. so please, next time something is eating you up inside, even if it's just the simplest of things. tell me. when i ask you what is wrong, don't try and endure things on your own cause you aren't on your own. there's a reason why i ask you these things, and i am persistent in getting an honest answer and not a lie such as, "it's nothing" or "i am fine." the reason for that is because i truly worry about you. i am pretty sure i know you well enough to tell when something is troubling you. there's so much things out there in life to look forward to, you mustn't blind yourself with things that bring you down. as soon as it does, just get back up. you have to learn to realize that no matter how hard things get, you have to look at life from another perspective. it's not whether the glass is half full or half empty. it never was or never is. you've got to realize that despite how full or half empty the glass is, you can always refill it. so please, next time something is on your mind. no matter how small it is, please tell me. especially when i know something is amidst your mind, that's when you should really tell me. i ask not simply for the sake of asking, i ask because i want to know and i want to try to set your mind at ease even if its just for the slightest amount. to let you know that things will be alright. that you aren't alone, you never were.

so yeah...promise me that you'll tell me no matter how small it may be. please.
( づ ^_^ )づ *hugs*

:for you sandra:

im sorry. even when we aren't together i still cause you pain. truth is, you think i am over you but really, im not. fact of the matter is, i cant get you outta my mind. i wont lie. i still have feelings for you. you really did have an impact in my life. our break up really hurt me deep inside and i guess the wound hasnt fully healed just yet.

this whole time we stayed as close friends and im glad we did, i didnt want to lose you in my life. thats why it really hurt to read your blog post.

dear sandra,

i still held feelings for you. i cant deny it. i wanted us to get back together but at the same time i didnt. i just couldnt do it. i didnt want to hurt you again. i noticed that you were happier with me as a close friend. i figured that if we got back together, i would just cause you more emotional pain like i did when we were a couple. i wanted you to be happy, to be able to genuinely smile. that smile of yours was what mattered. i wanted to put your happiness above my own. idk if you knew, but ive been keeping up to date with your blog. as i read your latest post, i felt pain inside. you said you were finally gonna shove me out of your heart. you said i didnt need you in my life and that you had no effect in my life. thats what you thought. sadly, youre mistake. i did need you, thats why i wanted so much for us to stay as friends. you affected my life greatly, thats why my feelings for you lingered. idk if you knew but no matter what the future has in store, you will always have a place in my heart. i guess thats why i just broke down in tears after having read that i was getting shoved out of yours, that i would no longer have a place in it. i wonder if i had told you sooner, we would be together again. probably not, i dont think you would want an idiot like me. no one knows what lies in the future, perhaps you and i will be back together, perhaps not. who knows? whatever the case may be, i can only hope that we can remain to stay as close as we are now. i may no longer have a place in your heart but know this, you'll always have a place in mine. im sure you never knew any of this. well, now you know. im sorry i couldnt salvage our relationship like how i wanted to. you may not think it but your impact in my life has helped shaped me into a better person. all i can hope for is that im not shut out from your heart forever.

much love <3
albert anthony viste lariba

no matter, if you need me. ill be here for you. that i promise you...

:just gotta let it out:

okay it seriously has been a long while that i blogged on here. its surprising how much ease typing something out can provide. anyways, alot has happened after all this time.

dear you,
why is it that im feeling this way? idk, i thought i was over it. apparently im really not. it still there. if anything i wish i could turn back time but i cant. i guess it really is true when they say that it isnt until something is lost that we notice and realize its worth. *sigh* i wish you knew, i really do but then again, i know that even if you knew, i doubt anything would change. ahahaha...no matter how i look at it, im so stupid. well, i broke up with her. i realize it wasnt there, i dont even think something was there to begin with. what i thought was something was just my mind playing tricks on me so i can get over you. i just couldnt stay with her any longer knowing you still existed in my life. i realize that im still hung over you, i always have been. its no surprised that every time we chatted, i was at ease. its no surprise that when we talked and i was able to hear your sweet voice, my happiness was beyond comparison. its no surprise that i still sleep with the lantern above my head and chao beside me. its no surprise that despite me noticing other girls, youre the one that crosses my mind before i sleep at night. i must sound really dumb right now but whatever; i know i cant change what happened between us and i know that you probably have had enough of me. you really are clueless of how much i wish there was still "us." clueless of how i put up a smile when in reality it hurts me when we reminisce of the past. clueless of how i am feeling right now as im typing this out. clueless of how much i wish we never ended things. i dont know if you remember when i said, i didnt wanna be close friends with you because it would just kill me inside if i saw you with another guy and i was just the close friend in the sideline. well, im really glad we ended up as close friends. you probably no longer have the same feelings for me as you once had. though it may be difficult and though i dont want to, ill try and get over this feeling somehow.

:]

:fuhhh i seriously need to fucking vent this shit out:

i just had to blog this shit here
i need to fucking vent
i would vent this shit out on tumblr but i dont want youre ass seeing it.!

first of all, FUCK YOU!
i know that shit mustve been really hard on you last night, i cant even imagine what happened.
but drowning yourself in alcohol does not fucking do anything!
if you get fucked up and shit, you'd only end up in more trouble
you know how you fucking get when you drink!!!!! and youre still going to?! wtf is wrong with you!!!
im telling you not to do this but if you really are, just be fucking careful. and then you tell me that you dont give a shit what happens?!?! you know what!, even if you dont give a shit!! i fucking do! last time you got all fucked you, you listened to everyone and started dancing to your korean music and lifting up your shirt and shit! you know how that made me feel?!?!?! and youre planning on going to your cousins to drink again.
im just telling you to be careful and all you keep saying back to me is that you dont give a shit and that you need this.
you know quite well how you get with alcohol and you know that youre cousins end up making you drink alot. i know you wont even be able to resist and you'll just keep drinking and throw up just to fucking keep drinking again until you are completely gone.
if you start lifting your shirt again, kissing people, or even showing a slight chance of lust, i am done. i know, its the alcohol right? wrong! you know what would happen before hand, im even warning you and if you still go and do what you gonna do tonight, i cannot promise you that i will be there for you the next day. i
i really care for you and worry about you, dont ever underestimate how much i care. my head hurts so much right now just worrying about you and whether or not something is gonna happen tonight. thats why im praying to god that you dont end up fucking up and doing something youre gonna regret. its youre actions and you have to live by them. after tonight, we'll see whether or not there will even still be an us.

:never:

Never say goodbye when you still have that feeling in your heart.
Never give up when you have the reason not too.
Never say you don't love a person when you can't let go one bit.

o_o

:fattie:

so yesterday i was being such a fattie
finally headed home after staying at my cousins since saturday
we stopped and ate pho on the way
omg so delish
i freakin love it so much
also had some bbq
got home around 8 then had to pick up my mom
omg thats not all of it
afterwards, headed to koreana in riverside for some korean bbq with thao and tram
mann i hasnt hung out with thao in awhile
tram especially, freakin hasnt seen her since thao's graduation
but yeahhh omggg
freakin they tryna make me choke and explode
taking my time eating and they were like force feeding me shit >.>
i also love kbbq so i took it like a man and ate! mwuaha XD
afterwards we went to redlands to go drop someone off and then went back to fontana drop me off
then thao headed back to redlands
wtf? i think it wouldve been easier to just drop me off first LOL
or rather i shouldve just called jb to see if i could sleep over
it was late already. hmm why didnt i think of that, oh wells.
ended the night chattin with sandra
i love having late night chats with her
makes my night end with a smile
thats it for now :]

:sleep:

best
shit
ever!
ahaa slept the whole afternoon away
freakin woke up a couple min ago
and now just got out of the shower
i feel so freakin refreshed
sleep was interesting though
the dream was so weirdd
yet very interesting...

:five:

woke up this morning.
first thought.
mmm, five months have passed now
i look back at the time that has passed since the beginning
all the moments together
all the smiles shared
all the drama endured
the memories that can never be erased
everything.
it all made me pause for a moment
as i sit here smiling.

:surprise:

aha
hung out with kevin yesterday till midnight
finally caught up with him after several years
felt like we just saw each other the other day too
went to joanne to try and surprise her but freakin nico was there
he doesnt like kevin even though they never met XD
she was all like, nico isnt here you can come!
my ass!!!
so kevin just stayed in the car
she was like, "so whats the surprise?"
i was like, "ummm.. ummm.. *trying to think of an excuse* ummm..."
"the surprise is... there is no surprise!...SURPRISE?" LOL
ahaa chilled for like 3 min and shot some hoops.
freakin hardly was able to see the ball
so dark ._.
went back tot he car where kevin was waiting and chilled with him some more
when i got home, i knocked out >.>
woke up before five and saw my phone light up
sandra was calling
chatting with her made me smile.
yeah, it was nice.
lets see how the rest of the day is gonna go.

:idk:

things have not been going right between us
we've grown really distant
if i have anyone to blame, i can blame no one else but myself
i started to get the feeling she hardly even cared anymore
maybe it was just my imagination but every time we talked, more and more of it felt empty
as if our conversations were whatever to her
i may not have been the most interesting person to talk to but i tried
maybe im just too clingy and i always want to spend time with her
that's only cause we hardly ever get to spend time together
one thing i can say for sure though is that
despite all that has happened between us, all the difficult moments
idk how she may feel about things
regardless of whether or not she feels if anything was even real
i can honestly say i enjoyed our time together and it was real for me
whatever type of person she may perceive me to be, i can and will truthfully say that i tried my best and that i'd like to thank her for even allowing me to be part of her life
i recall her being influenced by jason's words before
and im here now saying that ive been devoted to her ever since the moment we got together
and that whether or not she believes me to be telling a lie or the truth, it is really up to her own judgment.
all i can say is that i have not regretted our relationship even for a single moment and thanks for the memories along the way.

:fireworks:

mwuahahaha
fourth of july! :]
i was a freakin pyro!!
uncle put me in charge of fireworks
gawd there was so much
over $100 worth
how fun... *sinister chuckle*
i love fourth of july
i get to blow shit up!!!
my finger started hurting after though
freakin used the lighter so much
and the flames got to me every now and then
D:
ewww.
but all in all, it was fun.
i loved the lil fireworks the most.
much better explosive impacts
oh oh oh and the seizure one
freakin hurt my eyes so much but i couldnt stop lighting it
just amazing! x]

:cousins:

ahaa i love my cousins.
spent the last 5 days with them in moreno valley.
fun fun fun.
just played games
watched movies
watched tv
danced stupidly
blew shit up
ahhhh fun times :]
first time i actually really hung out with them since summer started
so it was great
wish it lasted longer though
oh well, ill see em soon
pretty sure of that.

:new chapter:

ready?
set?
its time to start this new chapter to our lil book
time to fill it up with interesting experiences and memories
we'll do this together
:]

:book:

Sandra 3:54 pm
(3:54:21 PM): uhm

(3:54:23 PM): book?

(3:54:24 PM): o:
xxweirddasianxx 3:54 pm
(3:54:29 PM): yeah book
Sandra 3:54 pm
(3:54:38 PM): what book ?
xxweirddasianxx 3:55 pm
(3:55:54 PM): an interesting book :]
Sandra 3:56 pm
(3:56:28 PM): oh,

(3:56:30 PM): whats it called?/
xxweirddasianxx 3:56 pm
(3:56:51 PM): it has no title

(3:56:52 PM): o.o
Sandra 3:57 pm
(3:57:31 PM): eh ?!

(3:57:37 PM): whats it about then
xxweirddasianxx 3:57 pm
(3:57:39 PM): mhmm
xxweirddasianxx 3:58 pm
(3:58:12 PM): its kind of unscripted literature
Sandra 3:58 pm
(3:58:35 PM): unscripted literature ?
xxweirddasianxx 3:58 pm
(3:58:39 PM): mhmm
Sandra 3:58 pm
(3:58:45 PM): what is that?
xxweirddasianxx 3:59 pm
(3:59:21 PM): no real theme that it follows

(3:59:28 PM): kinda like. just compilations

(3:59:50 PM): :]
Sandra 4:00 pm
(4:00:49 PM): what is compilations? ><
xxweirddasianxx 4:01 pm
(4:01:14 PM): bits and piece

(4:01:17 PM): pieces*

(4:01:21 PM): all put into one
Sandra 4:01 pm
(4:01:27 PM): oh o:

(4:01:33 PM): soo why do you like it?
xxweirddasianxx 4:02 pm
(4:02:18 PM): cause it makes me happy and sad at diff points
Sandra 4:02 pm
(4:02:38 PM): oh o:

(4:02:45 PM): is there a "favorite" part?
xxweirddasianxx 4:03 pm
(4:03:41 PM): not necessarily

(4:03:59 PM): i liked alot of parts of it
Sandra 4:04 pm
(4:04:09 PM): ohhh.

(4:04:27 PM): so there isn't like a plot thingie ?
xxweirddasianxx 4:05 pm
(4:05:00 PM): nope no plot

(4:05:01 PM): XD
Sandra 4:05 pm
(4:05:10 PM): what.. a weird book o:
xxweirddasianxx 4:05 pm
(4:05:20 PM): yeahh. but i liked it

(4:05:34 PM): it took awhile to finish
Sandra 4:05 pm
(4:05:39 PM): how long? o:
xxweirddasianxx 4:05 pm
(4:05:54 PM): started it

(4:06:13 PM): february 10
Sandra 4:06 pm
(4:06:52 PM): hmm,

(4:07:04 PM): what is the main character like?
xxweirddasianxx 4:07 pm
(4:07:29 PM): idk how to describe

(4:07:30 PM): lol
Sandra 4:07 pm
(4:07:38 PM): oh ?
xxweirddasianxx 4:07 pm
(4:07:51 PM): yeah XD
Sandra 4:08 pm
(4:08:07 PM): not even one word ?
xxweirddasianxx 4:08 pm
(4:08:18 PM): hmm

(4:08:21 PM): i guess

(4:08:23 PM): weird
Sandra 4:08 pm
(4:08:34 PM): i see
xxweirddasianxx 4:08 pm
(4:08:52 PM): yeahhh
Sandra 4:09 pm
(4:09:10 PM): when did you finish this book? o:
xxweirddasianxx 4:09 pm
(4:09:24 PM): couple days ago

(4:09:38 PM): just thought about it and decided to put it as my aim status

(4:09:40 PM): XD

Sandra 4:11 pm
(4:11:32 PM): interesting o:

(4:11:52 PM): march, april, may, june

(4:11:58 PM): four months to finish a book ?

(4:12:01 PM): must be long.
xxweirddasianxx 4:12 pm
(4:12:10 PM): it was interesting though
Sandra 4:12 pm
(4:12:24 PM): sounds good.
xxweirddasianxx 4:12 pm
(4:12:34 PM): mhmm, thats why i kinda want a sequel
Sandra 4:13 pm
(4:13:22 PM): is one coming out ?
xxweirddasianxx 4:13 pm
(4:13:29 PM): idk
xxweirddasianxx 4:13 pm
(4:13:32 PM): thats the thing

(4:14:11 PM): publication of a sequel isnt sure yet
Sandra 4:14 pm
(4:14:20 PM): why not? o:
xxweirddasianxx 4:14 pm
(4:14:28 PM): idk o.o
Sandra 4:14 pm
(4:14:40 PM): o_o

(4:14:43 PM): that must suck

(4:14:44 PM): D:
xxweirddasianxx 4:14 pm
(4:14:53 PM): yeahh

(4:15:23 PM): i think you'd like the book as well
Sandra 4:15 pm
(4:15:27 PM): really ?
xxweirddasianxx 4:15 pm
(4:15:32 PM): yeahh i think so

(4:15:35 PM): maybe

(4:15:36 PM): XD

Sandra 4:15 pm
(4:15:40 PM): LOL.

(4:15:43 PM): could i borrow it then ?
xxweirddasianxx 4:15 pm
(4:15:59 PM): hows that gonna work out
Sandra 4:17 pm
(4:17:07 PM): uhm..

(4:17:10 PM): not so sure..
Sandra 4:18 pm
(4:18:21 PM): then how would i know if i like it or not ?
xxweirddasianxx 4:18 pm
(4:18:36 PM): hmm

(4:19:37 PM): ill show you the first page
Sandra 4:21 pm
(4:21:10 PM): ok
xxweirddasianxx 4:21 pm
(4:21:36 PM): o.o

(4:22:29 PM): sent.
Sandra 4:25 pm
(4:25:00 PM): i know.
xxweirddasianxx 4:25 pm
(4:25:37 PM): well yeahh thats the opening page of the book

(4:25:39 PM): o:
Sandra 4:25 pm
(4:25:49 PM): it must be a good book

(4:25:56 PM): if the first page made me cry already.
xxweirddasianxx 4:26 pm
(4:26:35 PM): its one hell of a book

(4:26:50 PM): all bunch of fun and craziness

(4:26:52 PM): :]

:images:

lookin at images
...
cant believe she saved all of em
brings back memories
makes me sad to see the images
im so lame

:performance:

after all this time
finally done with performance
it went pretty well actually, if i do say so myself
ahaa i wanna see the video so bad
to check out my epic failness
im so thankful to tracy for doing the dance and being my partner
mann im so glad i was part of it
got to chill with jo and john again
havnt hung out with them in forever
chilled with the homies; jb danny and angie
go to hang out with chill with elina again
met shane,
ahaa i got a new friend and shes freakin awesome
omg just everything
so much funn :]

:trippin:

mmm.
whats wrong with me today
im so out of it
my responses to her are so lame
gahhh
ahaa im still in love with her
>.>
still dont want things to end between me and her
buhh...its what she wants
i wish i could just hear those three words from her lips again
and know that its not over
hmm. am i foolish to cling on to the hope and thought of us being together once more.?
i guess i am a fool then ahaa...
why do i cling on. gahhh. guess i still am in love with her..
only, if only.
._.

:call button:

aha..ha..
woke up early this morning.
looked at my phone.
then came to realize.
i no longer have to press that call button.
i wanted to so much.
i shouldve.
but would that have done anything.
she probably would have still been sleeping.
or if not, wouldnt have answered.
*sigh*
stared at the ceiling with my phone in my hand.
laying there as time passes by.
maybe im think im trippin.
o_____o

:breakup:

it's over
i fucked up and im paying the price
she wanted to end things
she couldnt take it anymore
there was pretty much nothing i could have done about it
her mind was set and that was it
2 days before our 4 month of being together too
makes me really sad but what can i do about it
i really did fuck things up
im so stupid. ahaa...
she deserves better than me anyways
i caused her so much drama
so much pain
i know sorry wont make up for things
but at this point when your mind has been made up,
forgiveness is all i can ask for

kind of wish there was something i could have done though
even if it was the slightest thing to make a difference
buhh guess the tarot cards were dealt
and they were not in my favor

all the times we shared
all the crap we endured
all the laughs we had
...just everything.
will truly be missed
buh its engraved in my memories
i dont regret a single moment i was with her
it brought happiness to my life when nothing else could
senior year would not have been the same at all w/out you
i fell for her much deeper than i thought i would

when she broke it off,
i was crushed but in the end
i could wish her nothing but the best
and hope she finds someone better suited for her than i could ever have been
..that special someone that will be able to bring a smile to her face and make her happy just by the thought of him
i guess it was not my role to play

as im saying this, im wondering..
why am i so down right now..
just a single tear
everything is done and i could do nothing more.
it was one hell of a roller coaster ride
im glad it was you there beside me through the whole ride

*wanna go again?* aha..
i guess not...

k.

:finals:

LAKERS!!!!

Wooo!!
..such an epik game!!
dayyymmmm we were all loud!
shane freakin jumped up and was like WOOOOO!!!!
ahahah
mannn
i had my facebook update ready to post already
and my phone texting several people
moment that buzzer went off... POST!!!!

:beach:

beach today was fun.
got there later than expected due to somethings.
but in the end we got there.
LOL danny accidentally put sand in his burger while cooking.
seasoning my ass >.>"
omg omg and and water guns
epic water gun fight between me jb angie and danny.
ahaa.
oh and when i was cooking bbq. the umbrella lifted up from the ground and started flying away.
it was flying towards me, and i was tryna act all cool and catch it.
and i did. oh yeah~
buhh..... then the wind kept blowing and i got dragged off from my seat and across the sand T.T
too bad we didnt get it on camera. it happened several times but the first time is always the best XD
also played volleyball. me jb and angie vs danny.
sad life x]
ohhh then dwinta and her friend came too..buhh they went too far and ended up setting camp someplace else. took them forever to meet up with us.
john came late but still managed to beat dwinta.
we practiced dancing the choreo once dwinta was there
she picked it up hella fast.
:]
dayy was coming to a close.
phewww amazing dayy
after angie was dropped off, went out for pho with jb danny and john.
i swear, its always everytime with pho that we end up having a bonding moment.
just something about it i guess that just sets off a relaxing atmosphere to have a conversation.

worst part of the day would probably be not seeing my babyy.
gahh i wish she was able to come.
she was bored and had a frustrating day doing homework D:

2 daymmm two more days till graduation.
*sigh*

i love sandra.
o: idk, random. thought popped up in my head.
k this should be enough for now :]

:quote:

lil quote i thought of and put as my aim status.



nearing the end of this journey. its time to start anew. we'll all tread along this new path. all of us together, through and through. -2010

:initiation:

today was simplyy amazing.
chatting it up with my babyy in the early morn' <33
gawd first thing i hear this morning is the sound of her voice
and it sounded oh so.. <33 :D
i hear the doorbell ring
sami, obi, and ryan outside my house. WTF?!
noooo thespian initiation dayyy XDD
i had to dress up with a red dress and a corset.
so much abuse in school
had to quack and singg LOL
my babyy enjoyed it :]
she was a lesbian for the day <33
omg our text msgs for each other was filled with oh so much love
i love her to death.
after school joanne and linh came over to my place.
we ate pancit and chocolate cake
jb and angie came later
avid awards ceremony! GO MY FRIENDS!!!!
after that linh angie jb and danny went back to my place
KARAOKE!! WOOHOOOO!!!!
ahahaa so much fun omg. so tired now LOL
so now talking with my baby sandra. <33

:weekend:

...was so shitty.
pretty much had nothing to do.
babyy was in san francisco D:
i was stuck at home the whole time
saturday was texting my babyy :]
sunday. we texted like 3 times the whole day. :[
ehhhh *sadface*
so all in all, pretty much
all i did was chat with kim on sunday.
thank gawd she's entertaining unlike a few people in my buddy list
>.<
hopefully this week picks up.

:late night chat:

late night chat with my babyy
lovin it <3
hearing her voice before i go to sleep
im going to sleep well tonight :D

:today:

today..
so much food. ahaa
chilled at the park with jb and danny after school
headed over to kim's house.
hung out and had fun.
was with my babyyy yayyy <33
ahaa havin fun with friends and baby :D
guitar hero, tekken 5 and dbz 3.
ate pancit canton and mangos with bagoong.
ahaa freakin kim's kitchen is truly filipino.
mwuahahaha :D
great dayy!
ohhhh i wore my baby's pants
mwuahah she said its OUR pants
awhhh that made me feel so... yeah <3

:musical:

musical
-once upon a mattress-
turned out to be better than what the cast members told me it would be
watched it with my baby sandra
*kisses* o3o
i love her so much.
<3

:hmm:

lately things have been eh for her
...
it makes me sad to see her this way
i wanna do something to change that
bring that happiness back her in life
theres hardly anything i can do
but let her know that im here for her
and will be here for her if ever she needs me
hopefully that 11:11 i made for her
will begin to blossom.
<3

:just us:

babe with you
i can drop all other thoughts
and
simply smile
with only the image
of us
<3

:prom:

prom weekend is finally over.
i cant believe i went to prom
i thought i wasnt going to but went at the last minute
since thao wanted to go but she didnt go to bhs anymore
and still wanted to experience prom her senior year
so i took her.
doing everything last minute was freakin chaotic but i did it.
running on only 3 hrs of sleep, prom day finally came.
got home, got ready, everything checked, waited for thao.
she drove to my place and i drove the rest of the day.
jb, eric, danny, and linh were all in jb's aunt's car.
went to cue.
so much funnn! i havnt been to cue in like...forebbers.
after cue, headed straight to prom location
freakin got lost cause of danny's gps.
stupid lady's voice behind the gps kept taking us the wrong way
finally got to prom and had fun.
dance, ate, sang, carriage ride, chilled, took pics.
on the way home. scary as hekkk
freakin me and jb were tired as hell and we were driving.
swerving every now and then BUHHH we got home safely.
went to dennis at like 3 am to eat.
damnn.. everyone went to dennis. LOL
we didnt even finish our food. only danny did.
went back to riverside to jaybeh's place to sleep over.
didnt really have much sleep after prom ._.
but we all had fun.
prom evaluation: im glad i went buhhh still wish my babyy was there though D:

:recapp:

i havnt blogged in forever.
alot has happened since my last blog post.
wont be posting everything and... yeah.

relationship is going well.
i love my babyy sandra.
she means so much to me. <3
my baby finally got a phone. omgg spam text her now! :]
call her in the mornings to wake her up and make sure she doesnt oversleep.
omgg another month is coming by since her and i have been together.
3 months babe!!! i love you
<33

ive been hanging out with jaybeh and danny alot more now.
freakin just chillin and being fatties and such.
bonding moments are great.
chillin with angie as well.

been stressed the past few days because of prom
but its finally over. time to regain some sleep.

hmm..cant get sandra out of my mind. i like it :]

: ._. :

what can i do to make this right.
im torn inside knowing that i hurt you.
i cant forgive myself.
ive done something i really shouldnt have done.
i can only hope that you will somehow forgive me.
i know things arent going to be the same even if things are patched up.
but id rather that happen than not be with you.
i know that sorry might not be enough to move things along.
but for the record, i truly am sorry.
in life we strive to seek happiness.
once that happiness is found, its hard to let go.
i found my happiness in you.
things happened and i messed up.
no matter how much i say sorry, i dont think it will change what ive done.
hopefully. just hopefully it will make even the slightest difference.
not only do i seek the happiness thats hiding once more, but with it. forgiveness.

:dear you:

dear sandra,

im really sorry. i've cause you to feel sad. thats the last thing i want to do. i dont know whats wrong with me. i guess, your boyfriend is just a jealous idiot. you have given me nothing but happiness and here i am, causing you to be sad. im truly sorry from the bottom of my heart and i hope you can find any chance to forgive this jealous, idiotic, boyfriend. i didnt meant to cause you distress. i hate the sight of us arguing and dont want us to. i want you to be happy because nothing else brings me happiness than seeing that smile on your face but ive done something that i completely regret. if it were possible, i wish i could turn back the hands of time and stop myself from causing you harm. you and your happiness means everything to me because i know that i love you. the feeling i get knowing that you are mine and i am yours is deep and i want to patch things up between us. just tell me what you want me to do. please...

i truly love you with all my heart and i hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me and my stupidity. and hope that you can still say that you love me.

please forgive me.... im really really really sorry ~

-albert

:feelings:

feelings.

i hope she understands how i feel about things.
the first relationship is always hard, i know.
i want her to truly understand things.
she knows talkin to him makes me completely uncomfortable.
she said that she would stop talkin if it makes me that uncomfortable.
and yet the conversations continue.
i want her to just stop talking to him.
block him. ignore him. instantly reply with "sorry im busy" and then be nonresponsive.
i dont care how....
just...please stop...its really uncomfortable and kind of painful...
i know it might be alot to ask for..but it's the perspective of a boyfriend.
would it really matter THAT much if they just stopped talking?
he has more friends to talk with. she has her friends.
is he really worth causing me this discomfort and pain...?
and is he really worth causing both of us to argue...?
i really dont want us to argue over such a thing like this.
its so simple..
just stop talkin to him...please...as a personal request from me
i love her and would do anything for her. why. commitment. simple as that.
would she really truly do this thing ive been askin from her?
who knows... but i just, really hope so... o_o

:ilovemybabyyy:

gawd i just love my baby so much!!!!!!!!!
<3

Sandra 10:42 pm
(10:42:15 PM): i love you
Albert 10:42 pm
(10:42:28 PM): ....

(10:42:37 PM): awhh i love you too babe

(10:42:40 PM): <3
Sandra 10:43 pm
(10:43:17 PM): :-D

(10:43:18 PM): <3
Albert 10:44 pm
(10:44:04 PM): hehe. i swear

(10:44:11 PM): imma need to get surgery soon
Sandra 10:44 pm
(10:44:19 PM): for what?

(10:44:21 PM): o_o
Albert 10:44 pm
(10:44:28 PM): my cheeks

(10:44:32 PM): they too sore XD

then later on in the conversation
she just randomly says.....

Sandra 10:58 pm
(10:58:41 PM): i love you!
Albert 10:58 pm
(10:58:55 PM): i love you too!!!

(10:59:02 PM): o_o what was that for?
Sandra 10:59 pm
(10:59:20 PM): BECAUSE

(10:59:22 PM): i says so D<

(10:59:25 PM): and wanted to

(10:59:26 PM): and and yea

(10:59:27 PM): :3

(10:59:29 PM): teehee.

omg... did i mention, I LOVE HER!!!
my one and only Sandra Huynh
theres no one else above her :]
<3

:why do i:

so an-an asked me why do i like sandra
from there so much things entered my mind
but my response was simply:

if i had to put it in one statement id say that i like her because of how when im with her, she makes me feel as if noone or nothing else matters in the world; it's just me and her.

:poem:

i came up with this the other night
after helping my babe with a poetry assignment

lifes a bitch but we'll get through it all
no matter how high or how hard, ill catch you whenever you fall
ill stick with you through thick and thin
no matter who opposes us, our love will always win

:kinda sad:

so i was pretty much bored
after i getting home from eating pho with carol and coach
chatted with my baby
she wanted carol's number
she told me she would call me afterwards
she never did
she went to go eat
she didnt even mention anything about it
even after several hours passed
the whole time we were chatting
i was all thinkin about it still waiting for her call
thinkin if she was even gonna remember to call me
eh tonight was just saddening for me
:[
she had to go
i told her i love her and not even a response
just a smile
gaah idk why im feeling down right now
:[
hopefully things can only get better